The Genres of Movie Goers

The Horrorist – If it is not horror or at least have twist it is not worth watching.
Favorite movie-Saw, Psycho, Friday the 13th
Favorite Props – Knives, dismembered arms, naked girls

The Commoner – If it has will smith it has to be good, if it is not in color, English, or on 5 screens it must suck. They prefer to see movies opening weekend.
Favorite movie-Batman, Shrek 2, Pirates of Caribbean

The Indie – Will only watch movies if they do not come out in mega-plexes or no one but them is aware the film exists.
Favorite movie-Harold and Maude, Funny Ha Ha, Gummo

The comedian – they think everything is funny, well as long as it stars a big name star who is on there 5th film with the same plot. They become easily frustrated when Comedian does serious role.
Favorite movies - Happy Gilmore, Superbad, Elf
Favorite actor – Will Farrell, Adam Sandler, Seth Rogan

The anime kid – Usually dressed in a Catholic school girl outfit or dreams of dating a girl drawn wearing catholic school girl uniform. They rarely venture from anime section of the local video store unless there is new animated TV series release party.
Favorite movies – Akira, Spirited Away, Ran
Favorite Director – Hayao Miyazaki

The soccer mom – Uses movies to babysit the kids and only G rated animated ones. They prefer to buy the direct to DVD sequels of movies because they are cheaper than the higher quality originals, often married to the Pay-per-view guy whose kids grow up to be the commoner, the comedian, or the Pathetic-ist.
Favorite movies – Anything rated G.
Favorite production company – Disney

The Patheticist – Craving constant inspiration for life itself, the more lovable loser the better the movie, the Disney biopics were designed to cater to him.
Favorite movies – Remember the Titans, The Rookie, Dave

Sports Guy – Hardy watches movies unless the story revolves around sports, particularly baseball. Close cousin of the Pathetic-ist.
Favorite movies – The natural, Field of dreams, Rudy
Favorite actor – Kevin Costner

Pay-per-view guy – They are the people you see at the gas station looking through and buying one of the $1 movies. They then ask you to watch the movie with you so that they do not feel dumb for buying a movie at a gas station.
Favorite movies – Anything that is on pay-per-view that you have never heard of.
Favorite actor – Jean Claude Van Damme or anyone else that is past there prime assuming they had a prime.

The Elitist – They have seen every movie ever made or at least read about them. They will tell you something is great just because people say it is great and will claim a movie is great just based on what others are saying about it.
Favorite movie-The 400 Blows, 8 ½ , The Man with a Camera
Favorite Directors – Ingmar Bergman, Federico Fellini, Akira Kurosawa

Pseudo-Elitist – Similar to the elitist, but would never actually sit through more than five minutes of Empire. They are typified by your average Oscar voter.
Favorite movies – Citizen Kane, Casablanca, The God Father
Favorite Directors – Orson wells, Alfred Hitchcock, Stanley Kubrick

The Chick Flicker – Is the opposite of the sports guy and watches only movies that they can see with there girl friends. No matter how obsurd the plot is they will see there lives in it.
Favorite movies – Bridget Jones Diary, Sex in the City, Pride and prejudice
Favorite Actors – Meg Ryan, Sandra Bullock, Hugh Grant

The Down Loader – They are too cheap to rent or go the movies so they download the first available movie and watch it. They are not picky and will watch about anything, though the idea of not paying for movies and seeing it before it comes out in the theatre really turns them on.
Favorite movies – The latest comedy TV series
Favorite Directors – Bit Torrent

The Fanboy – Is usually associated with comic books, but is also know to talk in Klingon and own and light saber. They will often be seen at conventions with the Anime Kid both declaring they are superior to the other.
Favorite movies – It is not currently out yet, but they can be seen waiting in line for its premier and/or discussing the merits of said movie online.

The Cautionist – Will not watch horror, overly sexual, or violent movies. They are the last people to see a movie and only go if the movie has been completely accepted by the rest of the world. They are often seen in empty theatres with only ten other viewers all be cautionist and the occasional fanboy watching a movie for the 10th time.
Favorite movies – Titanic, Finding Nemo, Forrest Gump

The Old Timer – No matter what movie you are watching they will say the movies they use to make were better and will often refuse to even watch new movies to sit at home and watch movies they taped off of TV.
Favorite movies – Gone with the Wind, A Wonderful life, The Wizard of Oz
Favorite actor – James Steward, Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn

The know nothing – They never chose a movie but just goes with there friends. If asked if they like the movie they will always respond with yes.
Favorite movies – They don’t have one or anything by Tyler Perry
Favorite actor – You mean the people in the movie, oh Brad Pitt.

It goes bang – Never saw an action sequence they did not like, never heard any dialogue that seemed necessary, and plot now who needs that. Movie volume is required to be unnecessarily loud.
Favorite movies – Bad Boys 2, The Bourne Ultimatum, Transformers
Favorite Director – Michael Bay

I watch a lot of movies – watches lots of movies, known for allways having one netflix DVD in the player one in the mail box and one coming to them. They see them selves in the same company as the elitist but they do not even pretend that they would actually would actually watch and art film.
Favorite movie-Almost Famous, Apocalypse Now, The Graduate

The Genericist – Related to the I watch a lot of movies person, but will only watch new releases. It is hard for them to find a movie they do not like.
Favorite movies – Forrest Gump, Sixth Sense, National Treasure
Favorite actor – Tom Hanks, Julie Roberts, George Clooney

My team sucks, but it is OK.

I had to make a choice; who would it be, McCain or Obama? It should be so easy: Obama. He is clearly more intellectual and more positive about the future. But I found my self looking for any reason not to vote for him. Was this just me being my contrarian self, wishing to go against the hordes around me saying that Obama was the messiah? Using the logic that goes something like this: if everyone is doing it, it must not be good, or was it something deeper? McCain after all is probably one of my all-time favorite politicians. He was and probably still is a maverick as much as a senator can be. He was a republican that actually took stands for the environment. He made his mistakes along the way but, much in the way that fortune favors the bold, if you step out on too many limbs, sooner or later they are going to break. Still the answer should have been easy. He had turned to the dark side; he was Anakan Skywalker under the influence of the Emperor. Things were getting complicated; emotions were replacing logic as a way to make decisions. Was I becoming no better than those I ridiculed for basing there choice on irrational unstudied emotion? It was like I was watching the Gators play the Seminoles for the national title. Why couldn’t one of them have just lost? It would make things easy, instead of being torn up by what you were and by what you would be. Growing up in family where everyone went to FSU, you become indoctrinated into rooting for them, but then you end up going to school at UF. All logic says that you should cheer the Gators on to victory; they are who you are and will be. Then why’s it is so hard and what makes anything about what team you cheer for logical? Maybe this was the key: logic is not important. It was time to step back and write my self in for president, logic be damned. They told me I was throwing away my vote, fore whatever that means. But if I had told them I was a fan of the Tampa Bay Rays before this year, they would never ask me why I don’t pick a team that has a chance of winning, now why should I start now.

I think that had written this a week earlier it would have gone something like this letter to the editor by Josh Burkard:

This political season has been tough for me. So far, I’ve avoided thinking about it by focusing on giving congressional offices an earful about the $700 billion they just flushed down the toilet.

Eventually, I had to make a choice. Both candidates seem to want to repeat the mistakes of the Great Depression, but my friends urged me not to “throw my vote away” on a third party. I didn’t know what to do, and I started to feel a little distraught.

Then I saw the ObamaBot and realized I was overthinking things.
I need to be more like that robot. Waving signs. Spouting prerecorded sound bites. After all, this is a movement, and everyone wants to be a part of something big.

Who could argue with the thousands of stickers and signs on campus? It’s time for me to stop worrying about empty political promises or the $35,000 of debt each of us owes.

It’s time to join the winning team.

At this point I could show the logic and the science behind why we desire to be part of a group and expand on the values of voting for third party, but why? Does it even matter? So join the crowd I will if only to see my team go down in defeat. Sometimes the loudest supporters come for the team that knows they are not going to win and they are happy with that. Just ask the fans of the Werner Southern basketball team.

In an ending note I wonder if when things have all been said and done, McCain will end up just like Anaka/Darth Vader and kill the Emperor or will he end up being another puppet of the Emperor.

A sherbet suprise...

I have a secret. I like milkshakes made with sherbet. Don’t ask why I just do. The server at Ben and Jerry’s always asked if I did not want a sorbet splash instead. I would have to reassure him that no, I want a milk shake made with sherbet. But what makes this a secret. I will openly admit this gastronomic choice and clearly the server at Ben and Jerry’s knows about my habit. Maybe it is not really a secret. It is not like I have been to area 51 and seen the alien bodies; then again would I tell you if I had? This is so confusing what makes a secret a secret then. Dictionary.com has 14 different definitions for it. Is secret it self a secret. This circular logic is giving me a headache. Some how I think the question can be answered in a simple expression: Knowledge is power. Secrets are the way in which we try and keep the power to ourselves. But what ungodly power is hidden in the knowledge that I like milkshakes made with sherbet? Now that is a secret.

Or maybe this is all just a big mistake and that we should be living by another colloquialism: the truth will set you free. And we would be better off if just did not keep secrets. I remember an evening in which I was taking part in a “waiting for Godot” conversation, not a conversation about the play but those that seem to have come from the play, ones in which you talk about things that you were not part of even though they act as if you know. And during this conversation a girl was reminiscing about how she had had told guy that she like him, at which he responded, “It will be ok, you will get over it.” Seeing that they are still friends today I guess she did. The guy then remarked “that was a good day, I am glad you said that, people should be honest like that.” I should come clean myself and admit that I do not get milkshakes made solely with sherbet; I get a scoop of ice cream thrown in for good measure.

cliché

Cliché – noun – (in art, literature, drama, etc.) a trite or hackneyed plot, character development, use of color, musical expression, etc.

It is so easy to pick on things that seem unoriginal, I mean how many times do we have to watch the good guy dodge a 1000 bullets. But at some point everything has beginning, a first telling, a point where the idea is conceived. For me it began with a cliché of a video. Before Spike Jonze was Spike Jonze he made the video, originally enough called Video Days. I love this movie while most people want to recreate the Seven Samurai, Annie Hall, or Citzen Cane, I wanted to be in this movie I wanted to make this movie (notice who also got his start in this video):



So as luck would have it I had a chance to make homage to this video and well it is nothing like the original, but it has is moments. It also became a tribute to friend who loves a good cliché and can never get enough of them. Filmed in a mere hour and no retakes were made, what a mistake. It is no surprise that result is a pretty terrible product. It needed a few scenes reshot and another five camera angles should have added to the filming, then again what can you expect, I didn't even bother to use a tripod, ughhhhh? One bad cliché…

Falling out of Love and Getting Stood Up

Do you remember the day when the things you loved doing became the things you did because you got paid to do them. I guess for most of us this is never an issue because we can never get paid to do what we love to do, but maybe we are the lucky ones. I can remember a night in between comedian performances I watched as a friend interviewed one of the comedians for a documentary. When I asked her what she was doing: she said she was making a short documentary for her job and it was there that you could see it, what had once been fun was now work. I had seen that look before; it was the same look I saw on friend few years after they had been lucky enough to get sponsored. They had walked away from skating and when asked why they said it was no longer fun when you working on getting better not because you wanted to progress but because you had to keep up.

In other misadventures….

So I need(ed) a ticket for this weekends football game and I did what all good ticket searchers did I went to facebook marketplace and craigslist to see what I could find. As usual everyone is asking way to much. I start emailing and messaging people with offers and no hits. Finally I find some guy selling 8 tickets, the ad says to call or text them with an offer so I text him. The following is a transcript of the text messaging conversation:

Me: I have 20 for 1

Them: Ill see you 1 for $20. How do you want get it?

Me: I am on campus till 7 but can meet u if in the area. After 7 and sat ill be in campus area. I don’t know what is easiest.

Them: Ill be on campus from 3 to 6. What to meet somewhere around then?

Me: That works call or text when on campus I can walk to where you are at.

Ill be on campus at 3. Whats ur name?

Me: Tim and yours? 3 works if got a location.

Them: Justin. Well meet at the reitz?

Me: Perfect down stairs outside at the tables in front of the frame place.

I think I may have been stood up then again they may have stood me up. I am not really sure how this all works. All I know what that was really awkward.

Skinny Panted Ninjas

I recently heard a disturbing report that parts of the student ghetto where in the midst of a crime wave. Witnesses have reported that as crime has increased so has the number of skinny pants ninjas riding around on road bicycles. What are these skinny panted ninjas and what was there relationship with crime. As soon as I arrived in the neighborhood there droppings were everyone Papst Blue Ribbon beer cans and cheap cigarette butts. Soon they appeared riding their bikes and wearing skinny jeans 2 sizes to small. The sexes were almost indistinguishable from each other. Doing there best impression of a heroin chic model who left their jeans in the drier to long. It was clear they were both, too malnourished and unathletic to be ninjas. If they were not ninjas then what were that they? Natives to area referred to them as hipsters, though it is not sure what they called themselves. The name leads me to believe that they were a relation of the hippies, though further investigation would be required. So I ventured to known hippie territories around the Hari Krishna food line, but they were gone. Not a scant piece of hemp fabric in sight, just an ever growing heard of hipsters. Where had all the hippies gone? Had they mutated into the hipsters or had then been pushed out by these new alien invaders? At first they seemed that they must be some kind genetic variation with there similar vegetarian feeding habits and aversion to grooming. But there was something dramatically different about two. It was in their topics of conversation. The hipsters were not talking about how they wanted to save the environment, but instead they talked about how terrible main stream music was and how the sequel to dark knight was already in pre-production. What were these creatures? It is clear that they are not the offspring of hippies who flaunted there lack of money and distain of pop-culture, these hipsters flaunted there love of their iPhones and pop culture. The increase in crime must be related to the increase in the number of hipsters, because who wants to rob a hippie. On the bright side it is safe to say that with their pants being so tight they will never be able to reproduce. And if that don’t kill them the cigarettes and fake glasses will.

Can I get some Def Leppard with my sweet tea?

In a special ghost writers edition, the differences between the American and European dining experience is explained. If only they could tell me why water with ice means you only get one ice cube, then this would be true genius.

I wouldn’t say that I’ve traveled abroad extensively, but I think I’ve been outside of the United States more than an average American. To my chagrin, one thing that I’ve noticed about countries in Europe is that they seldom provide a dining experience comparable to what you can find here in the US. Oh sure, indulgence is possible. But let’s think about it for a minute: even casual American eateries are premised on catering to your culinary whims and fancies. The competition for your food dollar is fierce and the battle rages at all times (eat great even late, fourthmeal) and through all seasons (many chain restaurants are open on Thanksgiving and a few even stay open on Christmas). When I go out to Friday’s or Chili’s these days, I expect to really enjoy my meal. And I don’t just mean that the food will taste good. It certainly will taste good; but the waiter will try to make me very happy in most cases; the manager might stop by and ask how everything went in general; the restaurant will make an effort to play some music that at least tangentially connects with my tastes; the décor will be either interesting or thematic in a way that helps divert my mind away from waiting for my food at least momentarily. In short, I’m made to believe that someone is deliberately trying to give me (and my fellow diners) an experience that will be enjoyed, maybe even one that is remembered days later. Good luck finding that in Sweden.

When I dine out in England or Scandinavia, I occasionally enjoy the taste of my food. More often than not, though, it’s bland. No matter how it looks or smells (sometimes the presentation is remarkably impressive) the taste rarely satisfies me. Additionally, I can’t say I ever feel entertained when I sup in European restaurants. I notice other diners around me more, mostly due to a lack of anything interesting going on within the establishment. People-watching has revealed to me a possible cause for this disparity between our dining and the Europeans’: it seems the main attraction for Europeans in restaurants is each other. They are always wrapped up in conversations or romantic gazing at each other and what not. They don’t seem to notice that the place they’re sitting in is snooze-inducing.

Table waiters in Europe are clearly less concerned with individual customers as a matter of economics: the lack of tipping as a societal norm in England and Sweden creates a dynamic where you are no more important to your waiter than his next cigarette break or the attractive brunette two tables away (unless you happen to be an attractive brunette yourself). Ireland is a bit different, as they are trending toward American habits and tipping has become normative, although not to the extent that it is here. But try to imagine table service in Sweden as similar to help you might receive buying groceries at home: available but insincere.
I suppose culture is to blame for these differences in dining between Europe and America. We have become a culture that eats out frequently. In Europe dining out is expensive and the people tend to have less disposable income. Traditionally eating out was considered a treat in America, but now it’s much less exotic. It appears the Europeans may be caught in the old trend that America has moved beyond. Because we eat out so much, we expect to be impressed more lavishly. To a Swede, the dining out is exciting in itself. If I don’t hear Def Leppard or The Eagles while cramming my face with chicken nachos and gulping down free refills of raspberry lemonade and perusing 10-gallon hats and stuffed armadillos, I’m just not living life.

Stalking the Next Frontier in Treasure Hunting.

Is there something wrong with stalking? I think we all do it. Maybe we are not up in trees with binoculars like George McFly from Back to the Future, but you know you do it. Checking someone’s Facebook status or checking to see who there friends are, waiting at places we know they will show up at... I bring this up because a friend of mine sent me a link to a saved by the bell where are they now article and I was intrigued by the fact that Anne Tremko a character from saved by the bell the college years had not been heard of since 2003. I wonder what had happened to her, where did she go. So I began to search the internet in vain to find out what had become of her. Not even Wikipedia could help. It just repeated that she had not been heard of since 2003. Had she died, changed her name, turned to scientology? I was becoming obsessed. I could imagine myself turning this into a hobby. Was I becoming a stalker or was this a legitimate way to waste time? I felt like a pirate on treasure hunt, maybe some how I could turn this into a game. Set up a website. People could come and challenge there friends to find out where these people are now. Even Amelia Earhart could be found. It could become a monster, treasure hunting for the 21st century. I could even make money off this idea. But no, this can not happen because I am still no closer to finding Anne Tremko...

Tra La La (aka golf movie)

Back home in the Redneck Rivera for some rest and relaxation and more importantly some home made Indian food. You are probably asking yourself what do Native Americans eat, well it is not those kind of Indians. There are Indians in the panhandle? Well I guess, though I do not know any. Indian food is what white kids make when they try and relive the experiences they have in foreign places. But I digress. During my trip I got to return to scene of the crime and by crime I refer to inspiration for the worst seven minutes of video ever created, golf movie. The Fort Walton Beach municipal golf course, containing two 18 hole courses. This weekends outing was mostly uneventful expect for being paired up with some guy who talked and talked about how much he played only to be followed by why he was not playing good. I think his name was Ed and can visit him at his place of employment the Black Angus restaurant. As exciting as it may seem to hang with Ed, he pales in comparison to the last time we played this Oaks course. So there we are driving up to our balls on the 10th hole of the Oaks course when all of a sudden golf balls are being hit into us. We look back to see some old guy waiving a driver at us. Unsure what we had done we decided it would be best to just let them play through. We tee off on the 11th hole and wait for them to pass us. A few minutes pass and then we hear a caravan of golf carts flying down the cart path towards us, with the old man leading the way. When he gets to 11th tee he does not stop he just keeps coming up to us. Finally he slows down next us and just looks at us and says “You guys are messing up the tra la la!” and speeds off followed by his cohorts. I sure hope I am surely as that guy when I am 70.

I used to be beautiful, but now I am not.

So I was at the dollar store looking for candy, sour dinosaurs to be exact and I notice two girls in front of me, maybe 23. It struck me strange the wardrobe they wore and how I imagined that they were probably quite attractive when their clothes still fit them. Not to say they are not attractive now, just that it seemed that some how they had missed something. If some how they had not realized that they had grown up. Hmmm, I just wonder if somewhere they are writing something like this in diary or blog.

I used to be beautiful, but now I am not. I am not sure how this came about, but it did. In high school I never thought of myself as pretty, though I did notice as boys would look down my shirt on those days I would wear a top too lose. College came and things changed. My sorority sisters showed me what was good about me and how to fix the rest. Soon every guy wanted me. I would go out with the girls to the clubs and with just one look I could make any guy mine. I could take anyone of them home, with just one look, just to wish them gone the next minute. I loved every minute of it. How did it go so wrong? There I was today at Starbucks and the barista would not even respond to my flirty comments. I looked over at my friend with a look of puzzlement not so much as to why barista was not responding to me, but what had compelled her to wear pants two sizes too small. Only then did I realize that it was merely my reflection. Oh, where did that tattoo come from?

Who am I kidding; this is terrible…then again a friend a of friend does a food blog of south Miami and he just recently did write up on the infamous Hungry Bear Subs. I personally have never been there but I have heard the legend. I was once told of this placed that was nicknames “ghetto subs” I am not sure if this the same place, but it should be. If you ever needed to grow into those pants that are two sizes too big this is the place to start.

A Day Well Lived...

A Day Well Lived (aka Day, Snowman Movie), was an animated short that I made about a boy who tries to save snowmen by putting them in the freezer. He eventually forgets about the snowmen, eventually they end up being used to make mixed drinks. The resulting event gives the boy a second chance to be reunited with his creations, if only for the limited time. I had originally written the story as light hearted attempt to satirize the insanity of trying to save snowmen by putting them in the freezer. Somewhere while sitting on a tarmac in snowstorm editing the story I realized that story was an allegory for friendship. Like a snowstorm new people come into our lives and friendships are built up, but as with melting snow friends move on. Then just as we realize that they are leaving we try and save these times by taking pictures and going to dinners, locking them in the freezer saying we will stay in contact. Never asking ourselves why we did not celebrate those days before the end. But alas there is new snow and those from the past fade away from memory.

Originally I wanted to write this posts in few weeks when school started up again, the proverbially snowstorm. Instead I am writing it now because today is moving on day for many people, so pictures will be taken, food will be eaten, but in the end it is ok to let the snow melt. There will always be another snowstorm, well as long the global warming does not make it to hot.

I am better than you and ill blog about it

I am looking over some of the posts I have made and started to wonder if anyone actually reads this stuff. Or, does it even matter since the point of this was not to entertain the world, but as way for me to help remember things. Who am I kidding? We all have the secret wish that people are reading these things, our secret tickets to fifteen minutes of fame. That some how we are artists, adventurers, writers, mothers, clichés…Better than everyone else, but no I would say we are more like the grow up versions of the Breakfast Club stereotypes of the ordinary. With that in mind I began hitting the next blog button to see if I could be wrong.

vostfrbyzurg.blogspot.com

The first blog I come to is VOSTFR. It looks like it is probably is French and reviews movies and tv shows, specializing in sci-fi. I really did not know that the French liked sci-fi then again maybe that is why he is forced to write this blog.

sambanabaixada.blogspot.com/

Next came Samba na Baixada a Brazilian blog that seems to have fixation with pictures of people with tambourines and videos, maybe its for a some kind of show or bar, I don’t know I don’t speak Portuguese and if I could I would probably find out that I wished I did not.

godmademespecial.blogspot.com/

Finally an American blog, God made me special. Too bad God did not make her blog special lots of poorly written antidotes dealing with what appears to be her daughter, then again maybe not. Then again who cares?

ohyeahmel.blogspot.com

More foreign blogs, Oh Yeah (I don’t care). An Argentina blog about bands and movies, but more importantly they put up pictures, because well there writing is short and probably pretty terrible.

unexplainable-lili.blogspot.com

Oh look I found Triple L’s corner. I think she is from Malaysia, though I can not read it and it looks Japanese. I am guessing she is writing about and taking pictures of her life or this is all could just be a Malaysian stalker's page.

愛犬うらら⑦ – yeah that is Japanese so is the site, it has lots of pictures of a dog, boring. Though, the picture of the phallic sand castle is pretty funny. So far the highlight of next blog button, hopefully not the highlight of this post.

http://byxaldoo.blogspot.com

Aldo Rojas is blog from Spain and he likes cars and posts stock pictures of them, no words just pictures. I mean like really? Really?

burenkitchenkraze.blogspot.com

Back in the USA we find Kitchen Kraze the story of kitchen as it gets remodeled. Its about time. I have been clicking the next blog button all morning and I finally found something that might actually be insightful.

santicotarelojoyas.blogspot.com

Joyas Nunca taxi. Santiago Cotarelo which I think translates in Santiago makes art out of balls and carpet. Insert witty pun about balls and carpet here.

bursa-laptop.blogspot.com

TIM, posts pictures of laptops and there specs, OK who made this site do they not realize what Google is for?

chelseafc-newz.blogspot.com

Chelsea football club is this actually a blog with useful information? Oh never mind fell asleep reading about Chelsea’s last match. (Bookmarks page under sleeping aids.)

leolisboa.blogspot.com

Leo Burnett Lisboa likes to post pictures of friends, but more importantly she posts screen shots of company records, Nice.

therealmenofnewyork.blogspot.com

The real men of New York and yes it contains more than its fair share of pictures of men in New York. I am guessing New York stalker dot BlogSpot was already taken.

tyndra.blogspot.com

im Blickfeld its Austrian and could have been good if only they had realized that while German maybe great language it is not going to help you get your blog read in the rest of the world.

mexico2008-internship.blogspot.com

Mexico 2008 internship, I think the name says it all, and dare I say the best blog I have seen. I really like the type setting they used to make it look hand written. It is good to know there is something that isn’t terrible.

flybynightpress.blogspot.com

Fly-by-night press, self described as “Reflections and observations about life and ministry as a Lutheran pastor.” At least ill know were to find Lutheran pastor the next time I am in palm coast or a prank in the making.

pamencocina.blogspot.com

Pamen cocina, some one thinks they can cook and they post their recipes, too. Too bad the page is in Spanish, because it really does look good.

firchowcolor.blogspot.com

Steve Firchhows Colors, yes he does color though I think technically this blog should have been called Steve Firchhows Inks. So if you have been working hard on your comic about a man who can wash cars with power of orange scent, well it’s your lucky day.

curtis50centfans.blogspot.com

50 cent fans a fan site for 50 cent or as Curtis Jackson knows it, the unofficial 50 cent stalker page.

norsktbarn.blogspot.com

Maren Næss, it’s from Norway and Norwegians are not immune to bad taste because they love the bachelor too.

toriheart.blogspot.com

Tori’s Blog tells the adventures of a girl who gets involved in second life then post her adventures in second life back to the first life about her future life in second life…..yeah I am just as confused as you are. Oh and I think she designs clothes for Second life Avatars, which probably means she makes more money than you do.

lexishots.blogspot.com

Picture perfect, and they have pages and pages of them just let you know how perfect they are.

storiesunfinished.blogspot.com

Stories Unfinished, ill just let you read what he has to say about himself “I am a writer, photographer and amateur critic. Please feel free to comment on anything you like, dislike or have any opinions on!” Ironically he did not mention his love of taking self portraits because clearly this about the only thing his is proficient at.

terimatt.blogspot.com

Terri & Matt they are marred and they get to travel around the world, you do not.

kristen-familyfuntimes.blogspot.com

Family Fun Times, they have a family, they have fun, and they feel the need to let us know this.

dodiek-andreas.blogspot.com

My Frient Foto if you can not tell by the name is a photo album of some guys friends. I wonder how his “friend” likes her topless photo being posted.

sanjinezvideos.blogspot.com

Album de fotos is a photo album about boy and the girl he loves, but more importantly photos of himself, which he clearly loves more than her.

lovemysandalsanddaisies.blogspot.com

Sandals and Daisies “a blog celebrating the happy chaos of my little world...a place to share my love of 'junkin' and 'thriftin'...somewhere to put into words how blessed i feel in this life...” or how I like ugly things and let me show them to you. Don’t you feel blessed?

polonaphotos.blogspot.com

Fish Eye is a showcase for a Slovenian who takes pictures, well at least we know that they have cameras in Slovenian, hopefully they also have photographers.

onelifetolive-sharon.blogspot.com

One life to live isn’t that the name of soap opera? Well it looks like this soap opera takes place at the state fair, probably better than the real thing.

the-boys-from-ho.blogspot.com

The boys from Hollywood, honestly I am not sure what this site is about and it's even in English. It has pictures of young boys is am thinking a pedophile may run it.

keepupwiththemcbees.blogspot.com

Keep Up with the McBee's – the Mcbees have babies and lots of pictures of said babies. They also write about them sometimes, but more importantly they have a picture of a moose.

mementofmeeen.blogspot.com

えんの紀念物 – Taiwanese girls just want to have fun, or maybe they are just auditioning for a live action anime movie.

stargazer-photo.blogspot.com

My Photoblog – as compared to the 1000’s of other My Photo Blogs. Oh wait she is Swedish and I think you know what that means.

Ok, I give up. I have been working on this little project for hours now and these are the only sites that I have found even worth talking about. Let’s just say they go down hill from here. At least I can claim I learned how to improve my blog from this whole experience: 1) Post more pictures even if only they are self style pictures of myself. 2) Talk about everyday events like the whole world wants to read about them, wait I already do this. 3) Write the posts as if I live in or am visiting a place that I am not actually in. 4) Get a family and make it seem like we are happiest people on earth. And 5) Hope this whole blog things passes.

Earworms, M&Ms, and Faces of Death - Part 3 of the what I do Series

This is the third and final installment of the what I do series. In this installment rational thinking has been replaced with talk of pop culture, with an emphasis on movies. I am not sure much can be gained from reading this though you might find out about some pretty mediocre movies.

Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness 
 
Yes, I actually clicked the link for Mondo Films.  I was looking at that yesterday. Not 'earthworms', dude, 'earworms'.  There was a story on Slate about this new commercial for Subway with a repetitive jingle and he called it an earworm. Faces of Death sounds totally bogus for the most part.  I remember watching it as a teenager and thinking it could be real, but some of it was very doubtful.  That's why I want to see it again: I want to apply my adult reasoning abilities to what I am seeing.
 
Amazon has a box set of Faces of Death Vol I-IV
 
Some of the review comments give you and idea of what you’ll be seeing if you watch it.
 
Erik

Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
i am going to have remember to start using the term earthworm for a song stuck in you head.  that was really good link even if the article was not very in depth.  how did you stumble across that one?  I read the wiki page on the faces of death and i am not really sure what to make of it.  they refer to it as a documentary, but it seems like a mocumentary and that it is faked.  i am guessing that they take what they can of real footage and then make there own to fill in the gaps.  there is also link to mondo films which you might find interesting.  they are basically documentaries about sensational topics. They seem like fore runners to todays reality tv.
 
JIM
 
Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
M&M's have a new promotional "Mint Wafer" flavor as their tie-in to the Movie.  Um, yeah, that makes sense. King of Kong?  Or just plain old King Kong?  I liked the scene in King Kong where the dude gets eaten by the giant swamp tube plants.  that's just sick.  We watched Eastern Promises.  That ruled.  I will buy that one eventually. Oh, we went to the movies to see The Ruins.  It was decent, but  it would have been better if I hadn't paid $18 for it.  Pretty gross,  anyway. Some nasty scenes that rival Saw IV. Yes, Alicia had never heard of Faces of Death, so I decided to put it on our list and show it to her.  I was stoked when I saw that it now comes with a real documentary DVD explaining how fake the first one was.  I think the creator himself put it together.  Anyway, read the Wiki link
 
Faces of Death
 
it's a gas.
 
Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
you might want to check out the book for no country i hear is incredibly violent and gives a little better insite of why the movies just ends, which i personally liked, though i would have just ended it when chugar walks away after the car crash.  history of violence is pretty good and if you liked it you should also check out "eastern promises".  I can not believe you are getting the faces of death DVD i have actually been talking about it recently and no one has ever heard of it let alone seen it.  i just want to know if the monkey killing scene is real.  i still think that scene is hardest core scene i have ever seen in a movie and i would be kind of disappointed to find out it was faked.  I have not seen into the wild though i read the outside story that led to the book so i am not sure if i want to see it.  it seems to be getting mixed kind of reviews.  Interesting that you liked jesus camp most things i have seen people have not liked it and actually thought that it was extremely biased.  i still kind of want to see it and king of kong which i hear is great. life aquatic i thought it was a little better than ok, then again it is a wes anderson movie, you might want to check out The Darjeeling Limited the movie is not as good as life aquatic put the short at the begging is really really good.  as for the rest of his movies, Rusmore - great, royal Tannenbaum-great, and bottle rocker-terrible though i know tons of people who love it.
 
JIM
 
Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
We watched No Country for Old Men.  Yeah, I agree that was really good. The end was a little disappointing, just because it was so abrupt. Sheriff Tommy Lee Jones just decided not to go after Crazy Assassin Guy?  I guess.  Good movie, though. We watched A History of Violence last week, forgot to mention that one. Yeah, that was decent.  I won't be buying it or anything, but had some cool depictions of ass-kicking.  the next couple of movies we have on the Netflix queue are Faces of Death (which now comes with a companion DVD explaining which scenes are real and which are fake), Mallrats, Chasing Amy (got to get my Ben Affleck fix), and the Dead Zone.  I've actually seen all of these movies, but I want to get them so Alicia can see them.  The movies on my list that I still have not seen include Talladega Nights, Into the Wild, Reign Over Me, Lost in Translation, Manhunter, Being John Malkovich, Brazil, 9.5 Weeks.  Oh yeah, we watched Jesus Camp a few weeks ago.  That was so unbiased it was amazing.  I'm so used to Michael Moore and Morgan Spurlock that I started to forget what a documentary was.  Those people are warping their children's minds.  Finally, I saw The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.  I wish someone would have told me not to drink before I watched it, but no matter.  I think it would have let me down had I been completely sober.  It was a serious underachiever after all of the nice things I had heard about it. It was witty, yes, but not funny.  A shame, really.
 
Erik

Metaphors? Don't talk about Metaphors!...Movies then? - Part 2 of the what I do Series

This is the second part of the what I do series. In this installment the topic of conversation begins to change from that of science and religion to that of movies and other issues of entertainment. And somehow CSI Miami finds its way into this conversation then again so does Motley Crue...


Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
of coarse it is metaphor, but it is does not mean that that there was not a flood of great impact. i do not mean that the whole world flooded.  you take things way to literally.  like personally i think the story Adam and eve could be true at least in this sense.  8 - 10,000 years ago the climate of north Africa was much different than it is today.  it was much more ideal for human life and at some point the climate dramatically changed to what it was today.  Something to do with retreating glaciers in Europe changing the weather patterns, i think. When the climate changed the people living there would have to go some where and the some where was probably the middle east.  given that Semitic languages are related to Africa not indo-europe and secondly why cross the Sahara when you can travel along the coast, would all be likely indicators that they moved east and north.  So, through time this migration becomes the story of Adam and eve and there forced exodus from eden to permanent settlements, just as they begin occurring in the middle east.  i mean they are all metaphors but somewhere along the way they come from truth.
 
I have seen planet terror, it was Ok. you will like zombie story. i liked the other story better, death proof.  the intermission trailers are the best part. forgetting sarah marshall was pretty funny though it kind of dropped of in the second half as the plot kicked in.  the best part is that she stars in this show called crime scene which is satire of CSI Miami, which ironically is already a satire.  The scenes from her show are the best parts by far. i just saw "rear window" for the first time, pretty interesting. saw the sorta remake of it "disturbia" it was surprisingly OK. "Butterfly and the diving bell" French but good, "atonement" slow but the story is really good and i like how it dealt with Dunkirk in it.  You usually do not see much mention of that in movies.  No Country for old Men, incredible and "3:10 to Yuma" is also really good.  Finally saw "high plains drifter" on the big screen probably my favorite movie of all time.  "27 dresses" pretty bad considering i guess the whole plot before watching the movie, but it has one scene that is just great. TV shows I should start watching on DVD.  things on my list are "the wire", "arrested development", maybe "veronica Mars", "northern exposure"... movies i would like to go back and watch are "little big man", "lost highway", "for a few dollars more" ...  
 
JIM
 
Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness  
 
A flood is a metaphor for an angry God cleansing the world of his mistaken first attempt at creating life.  It's like erasing a blackboard after working on a math problem for half an hour and then starting from scratch.  Remember: just because it rained a lot in Mesopotamia or wherever the people who recorded the history lived, doesn't mean that the Earth flooded for real.  The new Rambo looked hilarious.  Limbs being blasted off every other scene?  Cheesy Stallone lines?  What's the memorable moment of violence when the whole movie is just one violent image after another?  A triple decapitation with one swing of a machete?  Starship Troopers was satire, but I loved the effects.  The bugs were so creepy.  Any big horror fan had to love that movie.   Let's see, we watched Lost Highway the other day.  The DVD finally came out (11 years later) and I bought it.  You and I talked about that, right?  You said you saw it or you wanted to see it?  See it if you haven't already.  It's pretty weird.  Reservation Road
 
Reservation_Road
 
(Joaquin Phoenix, Jennifer Connolly).  Decent drama about a couple whose kid gets run over and killed.  Joaquin is stealing all of Sean Penn's roles.  You might find this one slightly dull.   We've been watching a lot of House lately.  Netflix is great for catching up on what I missed.  We just started Season 3.  Season 4 is on TV right now.  The DVD's should be out around Christmas I'm guessing.  I really like House, and I sort of get the feeling you could get into it, too, if you'd just watch a few episodes.  I got the Season 1 box set for Christmas if you want to borrow it.
 
We're getting Planet Terror
 
Planet_Terror
 
tomorrow.  Zombie movies can be fun.  I watched 300 sober the other day-first time for that.  Made a lot more sense!  Good movie. Check out Black Tide
 
blacktide
 
a new band I've been listening to.  They're decent.  Sound like Motley Crue a bit, some Anthrax, Ratt, and a dollop of Metallica.  And they're all teenagers.  That's fun.  The big hit is Shockwave.  It's on Rock Band, that video game.
 
Erik

From Creationism to Starship Troopers - Part 1 of the what I do Series

This is the first part of the what I do series. It is the edited down version of long email discussion i had with a friend. It would have great if i could claim that i wrote it all myself. You can start at the beginning and read up or you can start and the end and travel backwards to see how you got there. Look for a little bit of everything to be included in the series, from science to pop culture and everything in between....


Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
First off 2001 is brilliant.  In many ways it is dated and bit slow, but still there is something incredible about how the movie is filmed then again it is a Kubrick film and almost everyone of his films are incredible.  also ac Clarke who wrote 2001 is one the best sci-fi writers of all time especially with his ability to mix science and fiction.  Man i like starship troopers, but the truth is that movie was a satire.  sorry for that but that is my daily movie tirade.  I have not posted much on RG in while, partly because i have been busy and partly because their topics have been pretty boring or at least not something I do not want to write about. I figured you would mention the part about were did the aliens come from did they evolve or what.  who knows i figure at that point we could just ask them.  but you are right it does not change the question just the context of the question.  If you just removed religion from the equation things would be simpler but i think that is not possible.  the problem is you see religion as this kind artifice of history, while i see religion as artifact of history that some how hints at things of the past and i don't mean that there are gods in Olympus, but that if every religion carries a story of great flood, then odds are there is an historic basis for this event.  As for the topic at hand i figure there is 90% chance that we just evolved from goo, 5% chance that some kind of outside forced helped the process of evolution, be it gods, aliens, asteroids..., and 5% chance of other (something beyond the 1st two). back to the movies topic you seen any good movies recently?  i saw the new Rambo oh man is that movie beyond ridiculous...also any new good music?
 
JIM
 
Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
  
Wow, I'm impressed.  You are thinking out meaningful replies, taking the time to write them up, and saying interesting things.  The RG boards are probably losing out because I'm getting all this good stuff. OK, you mentioned 2001 in response to my comment about Creationism being hopeless.  Believe it or not I just saw 2001 for the first time a few weeks ago.  I see your point, but remember this: if our civilization was begun by aliens, something created them as well.  And if it turns out that "God" is actually an alien of some sort, well that sort of blows a hole in Christianity's focus on omnipresence, omnipotence, and all of that.  At heart I'm just a religion-hater, Colee.  You know that! By the way, I liked Starship Troopers way better than 2001.  I suppose in the context of the time it was made, 2001 was brilliant or whatever. But compared to Alien, Event Horizon, Total Recall, Star Wars, or an endless parade of Sci-Fi films that don't happen in space (The Fly, Jurassic Park), I think 2001 kind of stinks.  Very mediocre ending. I like the 3rd possibility you mentioned.  That is wholly and diametrically different from Creationism and Evolution.  Nice example. How strongly do you feel about it one way or the other?  How likely does it seem to you?  Maybe it's just the way my mind is hardwired, but it seems very unlikely to be the solution to me.
 
Erik
 
Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
By third choice i mean something that is outside creationism/evolution paradigm or the combination of both.  It is just that we are so hard wired they become nearly impossible to see.  As for creationism being so unrealistic think about it this way one the best sci-fi movies of all time is about creationism, 2001. Just think 100 years from now creationism will be revisited because once we make life out of nothing, what does that say? With that said I do actually have a 3rd possibility, it is something that came up in a discussion about a movie i had just seen and that is concept of things just are.  things occur in the fabric of time that have no beginning or end they just are.  for example the idea of monkeys typing infinitely they would at some point create all works of ligature, now lets assume there are infinite universes if things occurred randomly you could in theory get anything including us.  we could be a product of randomness mere errors in the process.
 
JIM
 
Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
 OK, that's kind of what I said in my e-mail.  That's what I thought you were getting at.  Are you saying you think there could be a third possibility?  To me it seems pretty clear that some extent of creation or evolution or BOTH had to take place. I can't even fathom a third possibility.  We've regressed?  Like, de-evolution?  That's still evolution, just in a different direction.  Anyway, fascinating topic.  That's why I occasionally take a plunge and read about it.  Creationism seems so hopeless to me, because it assumes a premise that is unprovable.  Unless God suddenly decided to show his face (and I don't mean on a Grilled Cheese Sandwich or an overpass in L.A.).
 
Erik
 
Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
oh man i missed that one, though that seems more likely than the insanity that story was real. What i am suggesting is an idea that creationism and evolution are both hard wired into our heads though especially creationism.  i mean think about it, you just make things you never think how they came about.  when you plan something you make it happen.   While the concept of evolution is a large scale idea. In general to large for an individual to see, while creationism is local it is the result of what you see when you do not have enough information and since we evolved in a world with not much information the idea of creationism would be the result.
 
JIM
 
Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
 A manifestation of human nature?  Does that mean that you think we're built/hardwired to understand things in one of two ways (something is created the way it is or it became the way it is), and so we view basically everything from that slant?  Did you see the Yale art student thing seems to be a hoax?  Yale Student Insists Abortion Art Project Is Real, Despite University's Claims of 'Creative Fiction'
 

what the ivy league calls fun
 
Dumb beeotch.  I knew this was too incredible to be true.  She seemed too eager to absorb the spotlight.
 
Erik
 
Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
the article has 3 parts i thought it made some pretty good points and some pretty bad points.  I think doubting science is good but doubting everything is bad.  on a kind of a side note it is interesting that all this doubt on science has seem to spring from the creationist/evolution debate, because i think a 100 years from now they will look back at this point in time and see that this where man transitions from the Darwinian period of science to creationism period of science.  what i mean by that is that science of nature has been looking at ways in which things evolve and how they can control this and from now on they are going to look more at how they can create nature....which goes back to my argument on creationism and evolution; that this debate is hidden in religion but in reality it is merely a manifestation of human nature.  In all honesty i mean the odds are that both are wrong it is just a matter of what theory fits the data better.
 
JIM
 
Subject: RE: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
I hadn't gotten around to reading that one yet.  I'm interested now, though.  That guy Berlinski sounds like my brother.  He's a contrarian to the core-takes no stand except that you are wrong.  Talks out of both sides of his mouth at once.   The Slate writer clearly doesn't like Berlinski.  He cited an example of another contributor at the same website however, who does like his work. More reading required, I suppose
 
Erik
 
Subject: is it doubt our just dumbness
 
doubt or just dumbness
 
i think you should have been sending this to me...

JIM

The Dark Knight or an allegory for George Bush?

The Dark Knight the follow up to wildly successful Batman Begins continues where the last movie left off with Batman continuing his personal crusade against criminals. Batman is now aided by a no-nonsense, by the rules DA, Harvey Dent. Together with Gordon they have made in roads into major crime organization by attaching there sources of money. But a new menace has arrived in Gotham, the Joker. He does not play by the rules, his goals are not to be rich, his goals are to rule through fear, to tear down society. Cold and calculating the Joker uses Gotham’s own weakness against them, he allows fear and anger to tear at society from the inside. Batman realizes that traditional powers can not fight a man that is not driven by clear logic and steps out side the bounds of moral society to track down the Joker. He will torture all who maybe involved he will eaves drop on every phone call in the city, he will stop at nothing to find the joker, but in the end he can not kill the joker. Why? He will say that it is his morals that will not allow him to kill the Joker, but maybe the Joker knows best when he says that Batman can not kill the Joker just as he can not kill Batman because with out the other, the other can not exist. It is Batman’s ego that is his final undoing as much as he claims that he wants to be able to stop being Batman he can not allow himself to get out. So, Batman will take the fall and martyr himself so that society can still see it self as good. But what do we really want? We say we want to be lead by the Harvey Dents of the world but we want to be saved by the Batmans. Maybe we should all just flip a coin as Two Face would as the extreme of both good and evil dictated only by chance, created by the circumstances of life’s experiences.

Mario Kart Wii

In the attempt to give all things a chance I decided to go see Speed Racer this weekend, even though no one watched it when it was in the theatres. Upon arriving at gatornights I was pleasantly surprised to find out that they were having a demonstration of Mario Kart Wii, so much for watching the movie. I am not sure where they found this demo version of the game but it must have been an import as the race commentary was done in a multiple languages, either way I love Mario Kart and I was excited to see the demo. The opening scenes of the game left much to be desired. You are introduced to basic story line of the game. In this version of the game Bowser is in control of the WRL (Wii Racing League) and he has captured baby Mario’s bother baby Luigi, with the help of champion racer Waluigi. Baby Mario must now out race the competition to reclaim WRL for all racers. Baby Mario is help out along the way by baby princess, his father Mario and mother princess, his love interest baby princess, the duo of toad and diddy kong, and of coarse head mechanic Luigi. Now on to the racing, the first race course is pretty simple and looks like a cross between the old Luigi’s circuit and rainbow road. The challenging part of the opening race is that you also race the ghost of baby Luigi who holds the track record. In the demo the racer does not beat the ghost leading me to believe that if you can you will unlock a secret part of the game. The courses get more challenging with an updated Koopa Troopa beach, Kalamari Desert, and Choco Mountain. In both the Kalamari Desert and the Choco Mountain races, you race as team. In the demo the race team consisted of baby Mario, Yoshi, a locked character, and baby princess who gets use a helicopter. In these races your main competition is Wario he is given extra weapons to help defeat you. If you can finish in the overall top three for the cup you are given an invitation to the grand prix. The grand prix is championship race and not a cup like in the older Mario Kart 64 and it is winner take all. The race takes place in an updated Wario stadium and you main competition Waluigi. He is given special weapons to help defeat you. Should you win the race you get to unlock the mystery racer who turns out to be the missing baby Luigi. My overall impression of game was positive. I like the way game looked, the game play was satisfactory not great, and introduction of a story line I think was bad idea. Not only did the story line feel forced, I thought it took away from the overall game play. If I wanted story line racing I would go play Diddy Kong Racing. Overall I give the game a B+, not quite on the level of the old Mario Kart 64 but getting close, maybe with a few more playings my opinion will change.

After typing all this up I just discovered that Gator Nights did not have a demo of Mario Kart Wii playing and instead I was actually watching Speed Racer. What a complete and total let down. Sinse I have already typed up the Mario Kart review I am not going to delete it now. Instead i have just put added an abridged review for Speed Racer. It starts of slow and the style gives you a head ache for about the first 30 minutes, but you soon get use to it. Just as you starting to actually enjoying the movie the bad story line and dialogue have to get in the way. For anyone who grew up watching this show be fore warned you are too old for this movie. What were they thinking? Who thinks it is a good idea to take cartoon from the 60’s and make it into a movie for kids in the 00’s? No wonder no one came and watched this movie (for further reading on this subject see Bewitched). With that said the movie had real potential the whole idea of sports being over corporatized and full of cheating is very contemporary, just think the Patriots meet Barry Bonds meets NASCAR, brilliant. I think that if they had just gone for it and developed a more in depth story line this movie could have become an instant classic an updated version of Any Given Sunday. But instead it looks more like Mario Kart the movie, which is better played than watched. Hmmm…..

A short review of Fool’s Gold:

They are anchored off of Key West and Key West has mountains.

CSI: Maimi

CSI: Miami, The most popular show in world and as a friend of mine likes to say the best comedy on TV and the worst drama ever. How is it that a show this terrible could be so great?

CSI: Miami is show about how we dream things to be it can take the most complicated, convoluted situations and make them simple. It appears to generate its plots based on the random combination of possible subplots. To make sure that you do not get lost, it leaves you signs to make sure that everyone can understand what is going on, both literally and fugitively. If there was drinking game of based on the number times that they show a sign telling their location, you would be drunk before the Who “say we won’t get fooled again”. For me this is where the show usually starts to go down as the first five minutes of the show are some are the best you are going to see the whole week. Each episode starts very formulaic. They start off with somebody either getting murdered or the finding of dead body in the most unexpected of locations. This is then followed up by the best looking CSI crew in the history of crime fighting who are on vacation from their full time jobs as models. Finally when the crime seems clueless or too bizarre Horatio Caine (played by the Leprechaun, looking David Caruso) shows up to see the key clue or makes connection that no one else can make about the crime by simply removing his sun glasses and a witty phrase. In one of my favorite scenes a man appears to have been murdered by an ice sculpture and the coroner asks Horatio "what kind of cold person could have done this", to which he responds “someone who is as cold as ice," he then places his sunglasses back on. And with that another crime is going to be solved with help of the magic sunglasses. Knightrider had Kit; the A-team had BA's van, MacGyver had his Swiss army knife, Magnum PI had his Tiger’s hat, and now a new generation has a great TV prop: Horatio Caine's sunglasses. These are more than ordinary sunglasses, not only do they help solve crimes; they help protect the pale skinned David Caruso from the intense south Florida sun. You would have thought that his prop of choice would have been hat like Magnum PI. Experience shows that glass do little to protect you from the harmful rays of the sun. I was just out fishing a week ago wearing a long sleeve shirt and a hat despite the fact that it was suppose to be sunny and 95. All the tourist going out on the charter boats were looking at us kind of funny as they left the harbor wearing only shorts and sun glasses. If only they realized that they would be the funny looking ones as the easily spotted that evening with their faces looking redder than Caruso’s hair, but at least they had white circles around there eyes.

But the sun and water is why people tune in to watch CSI: Miami. The show uses the Baywatch mantra: if you give them beautiful places and beautiful people, people will watch. Not only are they the best looking CSI crew in the world there victims and suspects are too. Where else on TV can you see a common street criminal come in for a police interview in designer clothes. It is escapism at its best, Hollywood is known for creating places that do not really exist, or do they. There are places like this in the world and one can be found in the beaches of south Walton. This is where the rich spend their beach vacations and mega rich keep their 200 ft yachts. When you enter the gated part of the resort you are met by girls riding bikes in bikinis and old men driving H2 golf carts like they are late to a crime scene. Normally you have to take shuttle through the gated part to get to “village” area, but a friend does some work for a night club owner so we got drive there. As much as the drive was something out of a movie the night club was something else. Just the other day my friend let someone in the back door in exchange for dinner at Ruth’s Chris. Then you get to go upstairs were they have a table full of money counters and you half expect to see someone doing lines of coke in the corner. Just when I had thought I had seen it all, I ran into an old family friend who was telling the story of her husband, a luxury yatch captain, who had just been attached off the coast of Nicaragua by pirates. Because they had just come from Havana were weapons are not allowed, they had to make like MacGyver and improvise molotov cocktails and flare guns. This was enough to scare them off long enough to make a run for it and to call the US state department, who said that they had watched the whole event and that the pirates would not be bothering them anymore. I am sure with Horatio’s glasses you could see that far too.

We all love a good mystery; we also love things to be wrapped up quickly. Who wants to wait for lab results? Just solve the crime in day. If you watch enough CSI: Miami episodes you begin to realize that it is never night in less that is when the murder happened. The reason that it is never night is because they always solve the crime in one day. So if you see the sun going down you know the crime is about to be solved. It is too bad that the real world does not work this way. I was asked to go by the local book store to help them find out if they had been robbed, i.e. help them use their video surveillance equipment. The bookstore reminds of me of something out of the Death on Demand series of novels with about five old ladies huddled around, drinking coffee, trying to piece together the crime. Based on their summary of what had happened I was able to use the video surveillance and found that they were robbed and that they had criminal on tape stealing books and purses and then sneaking out. The only problem was that you cannot enhance the video like they do on the CSI, so the best I could for them was produce a grainy picture of the suspect and a DVD of the crime. It was probably still good enough; though I am sure they will never see the lady again.

So night began to fall As I left town the mist of the post afternoon summer shower began lifting off the bayou and settling into the trees and I began to realize just how beautiful this place was. The haze lasted longer that normal it seemed to hang on to the tree branches and the kudzu, trying to not leave. I thought I was ready to leave but the further I drove the less I wanted to leave and I began to think about something I a comment that a friend once made that you probably do not meat as interesting people in engineering as you do in liberal arts. I agreed with then and still do, but truth is everyone has a story, an angle; it is just a matter of doing a little investigating. A sign appeared out of the fog it pointed right for Tallahassee, I knew where I had to go…Cue the air boat…arhhhhhhhhhhhh…..

Bottle Rocket

Bottle Rocket, Wes Andersons directorial debut, and let me just say I hate this movie. I am not sure what is worse Owen Wilson’s writing or his acting, with that said you can begin to see Wes Andersons story telling and directorial style begin to develop here. The idea of the juxtaposition of roles, where children act as adults and adults act as children, begins in Bottle Rocket and comes to fruition in his next two movies Rushmore and The Royal Tenebaums, is quite brilliant. The only thing that I ask is how you can waste the greatest names ever, Bottle Rocket, on such a terrible movie. Bottle Rockets are one the greatest joys. They take two ideas that have intrigued man kind since the begging of time, fire and flight into one single entity. Today is the Fourth of July, which means that it is national fireworks day and my favorite holiday. I am not sure what the best part of the Fourth is it the food, being around the water, or the Fireworks, I do not think that it really matters. What is important is that you act like you are eight years old, eat too many hot dogs and too much cake, and enjoy the fireworks show. If you should happen to be lucky enough to be a kid it is your day to be an adult and play with fire and light off a few bottle rockets. And, for those of us who do not like birthdays or celebrate them, today is the day that we and everyone else can. Happy 4^th of July.

Vacation

Vacation, National Lampoon’s, is a1983 Comedy starring Chevy Chase. It is one of few comedies that I thoroughly enjoy. Written by John Hughes, now famous for such terrible movies as Beethoven and its 4 sequels and drill bit Taylor, was once known as great creative mind in the 80’s. It can be argued that two of his latter movies were better The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off in my mind they can not surpass the simple joy that is Vacation. Simple is the key word here while most comedies are held down because of their plots, Vacation excels because of its plot. It has none. It follows the journeys of the Griswald family as they take a car trip across America to the fictional amusement park wally world (a clear Disneyland rip-off with an owner that looks like Walt Disney) along the we get to see some of the lively miss adventures. The constant in the movie that I always found most enjoyable was that it seemed real. Each new disaster that be felled them seemes plausible, if not common. You could see how your own family could end up in this predicament, except for possibly the death of aunt scene. As for me I am currently on vacation or at least that is what others are calling it. While most people go on vacations to exotic places like Europe or Canada, I go on vacations to the mundane world of the Florida panhandle also know as the Redneck Rivera. I came to realize this past week that being in Gainesville has left me aloof much like Obama when he talked about people clinging to guns and religion, we really forget about how the other half lives. While on trip to Wally World (Wal-Mart) with a friend we ran into a friend of his, an acquaintance that I knew a little. His girlfriend, wife, I am not really sure was with him. I noticed, though it was quite obvious, she had no left eye. She might have had a left eye, it could have been sucked down into her face, either way I know that that she use to have any eye because I had scene her before. As we stood there talking I started wondering if she notices that we know. I then think about how I would never see this in Gainesville, for that matter I would never have even consider the possibility that someone would be content walking around missing an eye. The whole experience left me with the impression that our view of the world is very limited. I think that this is what they call Framing. I guess sometimes you do not need to go to Europe to see the exotic it is there all the time right next to you.

Connections

Connections, was a ten-episode documentary television series created and narrated by science historian James Burke and is probably my all time favorite science show. Produced originally for the BBC in 1978, it was later replayed on PBS in the states. A second and third season were also made in 1994 and 1997, though I never saw any of the episodes. The show illustrated how scientific progress did not always progress in a linear fashion and that in some cases scientific discoveries were made because of pure chance. And pure chance is the reason I am writing here now if I had decided to start writing 30 minutes from now chances are that the out come of this prose would be different and is such the case with everything we do. I should have called the blog connections but I always enjoyed a misreading of a friend’s website better. I would like to apologize for this blatant plagiarizism, though the words have been reordered to protect the innocent. I am not sure how long I will keep this thing up but I have a few working subjects already in mind and if nothing else I figure that if come back in 10 years and read this I can remind myself of how silly I was. Finally watch for the bad grammar and misspelled words there will be lots of it. Enjoy.